A bottle will not fix what you feel, a bottle will never fill that empty space in your heart. A bottle will not be able to get you to a place where you will never feel the pain. The pain is so, deep and difficult to heal, you will never be able to drown yourself in a bottle. Your heart will feel your incredible pain. There are not enough bottles in this world that you could possibly drink from, that could kill or wipe your pain from your heart.
Let me know how it works out for you and your family, when you reach for that bottle; because, things will become magnified. Your family will be wondering what they did to deserve all the extra pain. I never reached for a bottle, I do not drink. It is not that I did not think about it, I thought, that thought. I thought if I drank, I could drink myself into a comatose state. I would never have to feel the pain I am feeling, again in this moment in time. Do not let this idea fool you, no-matter how much you drink you are going to wake up, you are going to ask your self the magic question what happened? Why? Am I still feeling this pain. Why can I not forget? The answer to your question is you will never forget. There are not enough bottles in this world/universe that you can drink that will help you with the pain your heart is feeling. The hurt of your loss will not disappear with a bottle; save yourself the trouble, skip the bottle.
The most important thing I can do is find love, hope and compassion for myself because, I know I gave my child all the love and hope I carried in my heart, for the blessings he would need to walk his journey of a lifetime.
You see, I do not need a bottle, what I need is for you to open your heart and hold a space for me, to begin my hearts healing journey. I will never be healed, I will only be healing. Please, do not tell me to get over it. Do not ever ask me, how much time it will take me to heal my heart? The gift of your child’s life runs too deep in your veins. I will never be who I was yesterday. It is this simple, I will be who I am now, a part of my heart stopped beating too. I am going to take my blessings and I will continue on my path, my journey of healing. I will take that little flicker of hope left in my heart and step forward into a new tomorrow whatever, that may look like for me. I will find the love kindness and compassion for myself to keep healing because, someone may need me to hold a space for them in my heart and keep a door of understanding open for them. Someone, may need to know they don’t need a bottle to fill them up. All they need is hope, love and compassion to see a tomorrow from a different perspective.
Please feel free to leave a thought, a comment or an idea of a topic below for a future post. Reaching out to everyone with "A Heart of Kindness" Thank you, Wendy Comeau